get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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