I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
