If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
you had me at cake vodka
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
