I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
