At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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