Well douche your snatch and let's go!
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
