I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
