come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dicks are not precious.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
