Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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