Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
