"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
