Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
