It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
