"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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