She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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