he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
