remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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