Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
