so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
