I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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