so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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