Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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