I'm drive I can fine osifer
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
