Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Randomize
