Swine flu. Run for my life!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It's blow job season.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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