he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
