So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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