it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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