Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
