Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
im drinking this country out of the recession.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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