I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
