I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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