Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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