why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
