i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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