All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
