i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I want to fling myself into the sun
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
