I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You need Xanax blowdarts
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
