there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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