Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
