we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
