I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
there was a trapeze. enough said
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
