i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
