All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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