i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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