I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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