Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
