I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
