so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
