Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
