Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
