i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
operation have a gay friend backfired
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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