Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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